Founder, Chesapeake Bay Death Doula
Carey M. Palmquist, MSM
My name is Carey, and I am an end-of-life/death doula in my private practice, Chesapeake Bay Death Doula. I became an end-of-life doula because I believe that through the intimacy and vulnerability of discussions about death, we can create a special and sacred space to accept death as another phase of our magnificent humanity. As an end-of-life doula, I hope that together, we can create beautiful spaces for transitioning loved ones that will carry us through the grief that comes from profound loss.
My Story
As a young girl, my experiences of death were mysterious and macabre. Those dying were placed “over there” in a separate, quiet, dark room where, upon entering, we respectfully whispered and spoke over, through, about, and around the dying. Never to them. Never.
How tragically sad – for us all.
Through my personal life (and death) experiences, I have come to a profoundly different perspective on death, and I believe that even as our beloveds transition, they are to be celebrated, respected, and heard.
I decided to become an EOL doula after several significant people in my life passed away. The first was my closest friend, who died in her early 40s from a staggeringly aggressive cancer. She left behind two teenagers (a girl and a boy) and her husband. As her death neared, she closed herself off from everyone who loved her, and she died alone in her room with the door locked. I believe that with an end-of-life doula present, the experience of my friend’s death would have been different, not only for her but for those of us who loved her, especially her children.
Conversely, I have had the honor and privilege to be present with several friends and family members in transition who had a circle of care that prioritized the autonomy of the dying. While there is no escaping the incomprehensible grief of loss, peace can exist. Being present at death opened in me a desire to better understand and support those navigating end-of-life choices, planning, and emotional support.
The writing and work of Ram Dass changed me significantly after the death of a loved one. With a lifelong reputation as an anxious over-thinker, when confronted with his spiritual philosophy while navigating my grief, the idea of “be here now” changed me. And that is why I hope to be here for you.
My Specialties
· As an end-of-life doula, I am passionate about helping friends and families create sacred and personal rituals in celebration of life, not only at the time of death but also as death anniversaries sneak up and the anxiety from the milestone takes over our fragile memories.
· Families looking for support and compassion as their loved ones transition.
· Facilitating conversations about grief and opening dialogue about what comes after loss.
· Hosting Death Cafes to ignite intimate conversations about our perceptions of death, but also highlighting the importance of living every day to the fullest. – “Be here now.”
· I shine brightest and feel most myself at the bedside, so I prefer in-person visits whenever possible. I serve my community wherever they ask me to meet them, whether that’s their family home, an independent- or assisted-living campus, a hospital, a hospice home/respite care, or a skilled nursing facility—sometimes following them as they move from one location to another.
Both in-person and virtual visits are available. Please reach out for a consultation, free of charge.
Palmquist_DeathDoula@outlook.com
(657) 330.8878